Its Hojo Bashing Season
by Death's Silent Approach
Summary: I would really apreciate ideas for this story. All Hojo lovers I suggest you do not read this story. Chapter 3 is no longer an author's note. Nor is ch.2 please read. I have decided to discontinue this sorry for all who have looked and like this story.
1. Chapter 1

Please give me ideas for this. Any who want to see Hojo emotionally wounded taken apart and spit out looking like he jest stepped out of a meat grinder please the ideas would be appreciated. This is not a story for people who like Hojo. Hojo Bashing season is everywhere anywhere any time any place. I hope you enjoy this little story I came up with just this morning reading Winter Wonderland.   
  
A lawyer steps out of seemingly nowhere. Looking at Hojo the lawyer says, "I am Kagome's an Inuyasha lawyer."  
  
Hojo looking confused asked, "What does that have any thing to do with me."  
  
"Hey I only work for them that's it. I don't ask why I just sue. Okay you are to stay two hundred feet away from Kagome and the only way you are going to touch her is too touch her with a 200 foot pole measuring the distance between you. YOU are not to so much as touch her look at her or talk to her! If you do you are going to die a slow and painful death. Courtesy of Inuyasha."  
  
Hojo stood there gaping at the spot where the lawyer had just been and then he realized what the lawyer had said. 'What the hell was that about?' Hojo thought.   
  
So what do you think do tell me please? Oh I just love reviewers they are the best when they review to give some ideas for this story. 


	2. Chapter 2

Okay this is dedicated to Hawk Chick. Your review gave me this idea thank you!

Kagome and Inuyasha had just entered the theater in time to catch the beginning of the commercials of the movie. Kagome's ex-boyfriend had sent her tickets for his latest movie.

The opening scene is that of Hojo just entering boot camp. Now in the movie Hojo had joined the Army. In this scene he is being yelled at by his commanding officer, and is looking really ashamed of himself (seriously he looked as if he had been a kicked puppy)

Both Kagome and Inuyasha thought this hilarious but the rest of the people in the theater just turned around and glared at them.

One hour and a half later near the end of the movie we see our young army hero laying in a ditch laying in wait for the enemy. Strange thing his enemies are standing behind him with malicious grins and are all holding hand grenades. Suddenly they all chuck them in and yell, "Duck and cover!" The movie ends with his "family" standing in front of a grave crying their hearts out.

Some of you may think me heartless for writing this but I strongly protest against this. I know that war is not funny. Many of you may have family in the war and my heart goes out to you. I myself will be having my uncle going and sometime in the near future my sister joining it as well. That is all good night.


	3. Chapter 3

Hojo as he was walking to school one day noticed that Kagome was there that day So he calls "Higurashi-sama!" 'Oh shit.' Kagome muttered hurrying her pace and turned around to walk in the opposite direction. This went unnoticed by Hojo though and he continued talking to her, "will you go out with me, and marry me, and have billions of children with me?'

Kagome who unfortunately was not far enough away stalked back to ward him and slaps him, harder than Sango slaps Miroku and says, "My god are you retarded! After all the times I say no, or don't even show up to the date's u still don't get a hint! Yeah well FUCK YOU!"

Though suddenly and very unexpectedly, Sesshoumaru decided to pop out of thin air, and said, "I've always loved u, never shown it though, I didn't want others to know I was soft and harsh. and further more I want you to marry me and be a mother to rin as i am her father, and then we can have billions of babies.' and Hojo turned and ugly purple in his anger and exclaims, "Hey! I asked her first!' and Sesshoumaru's eyes flash red, but he doesn't transform, and so he walks over to Hojo and sadistically uses his poison claws to kill him.

Kagome turned to fluffy and says, "Oh yes Sesshy! I have wanted you since the moment I saw you on the shoulder of the oni and since you first tried to kill Inuyasha. I love you so much!' and they kiss passionately making Kagome's three friends who had happened to walk by and see the scene stare wide-eyed thinking, 'What the hell!'


	4. Chater 4

--- I would like to thank Kristine Batey for this contribution. I thought that this was enough. And any way I don't know how I would have continued it. So thank you to all of my reviewers.---  
  
"Look out!" Kagome cried. But it was too late. Houjou-kun had been run over by a steamroller.  
  
For a moment, nobody reacted. The boy emitted only the briefest of cries as he fell, so that the sound was nearly lost in the roar of the machine. His disappearance under the roller was so quick, and so unbelievable, that it took a moment for any of the girls to scream, and then all of them were screaming.  
  
Finally somebody--a passerby--jumped forward to catch the operator's attention. The driver hadn't even seen the boy go down, hadn't realized that anybody was in the roadway. The silence that followed the shutting down of the engine was both eerie and unnerving, adding to the sense of unreality. When the driver was made to understand what had just happened, he began weeping and cursing and then threw the machine into reverse, as though moving the great wheel off the boy's broken body could somehow undo what had been done, as though the blood and muscle and brain and intestines would somehow re-form into a laughing, living person.  
  
By now the police were on the scene, summoned by a horrified shopkeeper. The first officer to arrive turned away, unable to bear the sight of the boy, alive only moments before, but now unrecognizable as a human being. One of his colleagues began to pull passersby away. One of the girls fainted, and a few people went to help her. Several people were sick.  
  
Kagome stood rooted, staring. She had seen so much death, so many mutilated corpses, so much grief. For a moment, her brain refused to identify this corpse as the gentle boy who had courted her, trying so desperately to please her 


	5. Chapter 4

This is not a story for people who like Hojo. Hojo Bashing season is everywhere anywhere any time any place.

Thank you all of you who reviewed this story. I know this is supposed to be Hojo bashing but I couldn't help but bash Kikyo (sp?) it was asked of me.

(Present day Japan)

We all watch as our least favorite dead miko steps out onto the road not looking left or right or at the sign to make sure she can walk. 'Were am I?' she wondered. "The last thing I remember is falling into the bone eaters well in the forest of Inuyasha.' (She knows nothing of Kagome's time remember that so that is why she didn't look either way.)

As she steps onto the road the light turns red and a car being chased by a cop car runs her over not caring who got hit or who died. (Snickers oh that feels good. I haven't done a Kikyo bashing ever before. I am pretty mellow when it comes to this sort of thing. Any way. This chapter was requested and since I don't have the honor of killing her I can bash her.)

So what do you think do tell me please? Oh I just love reviewers they are the best. Ja Ne.


	6. Chapter 6

This is not a story for people who like Hojo. Hojo Bashing season is everywhere anywhere any time any place.

Thank you all of you who reviewed this story. I know this is supposed to be Hojo bashing. Though I have decided to bash any one that is requested only when requested though. Alright? Enjoy this chapter.

"Hojo?!" Kagome exclaimed. "How did you get here?"

"Well your grandfather needed help and I offered to help him and so he asked me to clean out the old well house. I accidentally tripped and fell into the well and now I am here. Exactly were is here?" Hojo replied.

"Welllllllllllll. You are in Feudal Japan to be exact." Just than Sesshoumaru jumped out meaning to hit Inuyasha with his poison claws but accidentally hit Hojo killing him slowly and painfully.

So what do you think do tell me please? Oh I just love reviewers they are the best. Ja Ne.


	7. Chapter 7

This is not a story for people who like Hojo. Hojo Bashing season is everywhere anywhere any time any place.

Thank you all of you who reviewed this story. I know this is supposed to be Hojo bashing. Though I have decided to bash any one that is requested only when requested though. All right? Enjoy this chapter.

All right there was a request of a Kikyo bashing. Hope you don't mind.

People who like Hojo I would suggest that you don't read this.

It was a bright and sunny day in Feudal Japan and into our sight should walk? Why it was Kikyo. (I know this isn't bashing her just give me time I am setting it up okay?) Out of no were Inuyasha appears beside her. Suddenly he spoke, "Kikyo are nothing to Kagome. You may be her incarnation but Kagome is more powerful. Do you under stand? And also I cannot go to hell with you I must stay here with Kagome and collect the Shikon no Tama shards as well as defeat Naraku to avenge you. Now I think I will send you to hell without me."

Kikyo looked horrified at the very perspective. "Inuyasha how could YOU?????? Are you going to betray me AGAIN?????"

Inuyasha looked at her amused. "Again? How could I betray you again when the last few time it has been you who has betrayed me by trying to take me to hell without my permission. And further more you have tried to kill Kagome. For that I should let Sesshoumaru kill you."

Suddenly Kagome appears out of no were saying, "Inuyasha instead how about we let

Shippu, or Kirarra, or Sango, or Miroku, or Sesshy get rid of her for us." Kikyo now looked at Kagome with fear.

So what do you think do tell me please? Oh I just love reviewers they are the best. Ja Ne.


	8. Chater 8

This is not a story for people who like Hojo. Hojo Bashing season is everywhere anywhere any time any place.

Thank you all of you who reviewed this story. I know this is supposed to be Hojo bashing. Though I have decided to bash any one that is requested only when requested though. All right? Enjoy this chapter.

People who like Hojo I would suggest that you don't read this.

It was a normal day at high school, well almost normal Kagome was at school to day and not in feudal Japan.

The day started out just fine and then along came Kagome's so called friends. Kagome was thinking, 'If they were my friend they wouldn't force me to go out with Hojo all the time. Not that hes not nice its just I don't like him that way.' "Kagome your at school to day. I was told you had schizophrenia by your grandfather. Shouldn't you be home?" Yuki the worst of the three called.

Kagome whipped around startled. And replied, "No I don't have schizophrenia my grandfather sometimes over exaggerates."

"Oh Kagome Hojo was asking about you. He wanted me to ask you the next time I saw you and if you were well enough he asked me to ask you out for him."

"Well you can tell Hojo that I will not go out with him I like him and he is really nice but I don't like him that way."

So what do you think do tell me please? Oh I just love reviewers they are the best. Ja Ne.


	9. Chapter 9

Hojo causally walked up to the church that was decorated with flowers, 'Ah a wedding," Hojo thought. 'I wonder whose it is.'

Just then through the door stepped Kagome and a very tall, silver haired man. "Oh Hojo, you missed my wedding. I sent you and invitation. By the way this is my husband Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru this is an old classmate of mine (Sesshoumaru is from the past this takes place after the Sikon is complete). His name is Hojo."

Hojo smiled politely and said, "I am afraid I did not get your invitation. It is a pleasure to meet you Sesshoumaru." In his mind Hojo was crushed, 'Why did this happen to mee?' "Why?" Hojo said to himself.

Thank you all of my faithful reviewers; you are what keep me going when I don't wish to write.


	10. Chapter 10

Hojo who had just arrived at the Sunset Shrine had just asked Kagome's grandfather where she was. The reply was that she had fallen ill with the Bird Flu. After asking if she was home and got a negative answer he hears a thud coming from the well house, but not until after giving her grandfather some Viagra because Kagome needed it to help her endurance (when given to a girl it does not stimulate their sex drive). He had heard about this in Sex Education class and had told her grandfather so.

As Hojo walked toward the God Tree he hear thuds and other various noises that sounded suspiciously like moans, but then heard a horrified (yeah right) scream of pain which soon turned into a moan of pleasure. Studiously ignoring this fact, being the good Samaritan he is, Hojo continued toward the well house to help the women in pain.

Hearing a loud cry of, "Kagome," Hojo assumed she had fallen down the well house steps. The cry had seemed "panicked" (to Hojo). Throwing open the door to the well house Hojo stared in horror at the sight before him. There were to people going at it like two rabbits in heat, while powered by Viagra which was a scene unlike anything he had ever seen nor had he ever wanted to. Souta who was passing by looked over Hojo's shoulder after a glimpse of what Hojo saw, "Looks like they are at it again. Quiet down will you. I was wondering where you were going at it to tell you to keep it down."

The figure on the bottom was someone he was quiet familiar with, it was Kagome! The other figure on top was someone he had never seen before all he could see was long black hair. Was Kagome a lesbian? (A.N.: No offence to any lesbians out there reading this story. I have nothing against you.) The only thing that shielded them from Hojo's sight was a white baboon pelt. As Hojo walked away with a broken heart the words he heard shattered it into thousands of glass shards. "Oh Naraku! Faster, Harder!

The end…

I am so evil. Sorry, but I hope that this more than makes-up for my poor updating abilities. Co-Written by JadeStoneTheYounger. Oh I have a new story called Kikiyou Bashing Season


	11. Chapter 11

This is not a story for people who like Hojo. Hojo Bashing season is everywhere anywhere any time any place.

Thank you all of you who reviewed this story. Enjoy this chapter.

People whom like Hojo I would suggest that you don't read this.

Walking down the sunny streets of Las Angels, California Hojo had the feeling that some thing was going to happen today, but what was it?

As he walked there were people staring at him as if he had something on his face but Hojo knew for a fact that he didn't have anything on his face what were they staring at?

Hojo shifted nervously as he began to make his way to the hotel he was staying at for the duration of his vacation. When he got there Hojo notice the smell of a fire looking up he notice that the hotel building was on fire. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Hojo wailed, "my passport was in there! How will I get home? My money was in there toooo. What am I going to do."

"Well first you need to get a hold of yourself and you also need to get a life." Came a voice from behind him. Turning around Hojo saw the one who had spoken to him.

To his surprise it was Kagome and who was that she was with? "Kagome who is that with you?"

"This is my husband Sesshoumaru Taisho. I told you that I was going to get married last year but you never listened but now my husband can now put you in your place if you try to ask me out again."

So what do you think do tell me please? Oh I just love reviewers they are the best. Ja Ne.


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